L is for the way I feel for you
by Ema Marsel
Summary: Beca tends to react irrationally when it comes to feelings and emotions. Now that she has come to terms with her feelings for Jesse, how will she react to the idea and then tell him her feelings?


The clouds were moving angrily.

"The clouds are angry?" Jesse read over Beca's shoulder as she sat on the quad staring blankly at the word document. The blinking cursor seemed to rub salt in the open wound that was her writer's block and starting her creative lit paper that was due tomorrow. "Seems a bit melodramatic for the opening line hmm?" He had set his messenger bag, or satchel as Beca lovingly dubbed it, on the grass next to her spot and fell to the ground next to her body.

"What did I tell you about reading over my shoulder?" Beca sent a glare his way but he missed the exchange by busying himself by pulling out an extra juice pack, and before offering it to his witty counterpart, he unwrapped the straw and inserted into the opening. "Such a gentlemen." Beca scoffed but took the proffered drink and took a heavenly slurp of Strawberry Kiwi.

"Like my mother taught me." Jesse waggled his eyebrows catching the sweet grimace Beca tried to hide with her hand. His fingers moved underneath her knee to give a pinch. The giggle-screech erupted from her mouth and she leaned back onto her elbows, mirroring his body and looking him dead in the eye. She hadn't been suffering from writer's block that was keeping the words from pouring out onto her computer screen, but the distracting thoughts of a certain boy, who seem to invade not only her thoughts but also her study time. She had been thinking, deeply, about a new progression of their relationship. Well a progression she was feeling and it was scaring the shit out of her, because she was pretty sure she was in love with Jesse.

Thinking that thought was maddening to her, to the point of hyperventilation but yet here she sat on the quad next to the person in question perfectly complacent with the idea of being in love with him. It wasn't like she was devoid of emotion, but being emotional was not the norm for Beca Mitchell. She had loved things before, like her parents, the Bellas' and she was sure she had a pet in his childhood she considered she loved, but this was the first time she had felt a love towards another person that was not platonic. The closest thing to the feelings she had for Jesse was her love for music. Music was her getaway, her escape, her breath, and most of the time was the last thing she heard before going to bed and the first thing she heard in the morning, but lately that was Jesse.

He had a way of creating reasons for him to stay the night, not that he needed a reason, but it was entertaining to hear his logical thinking. Last night was because Benji was practicing his latest magic trick that involved flashing lights and bangs. It was halfway through his diatribe explaining the magic trick that Beca caught her reflection in the mirror, smiling madly at his story, and it clicked. Yes all that crap that is said in movies, that poems make sense, and love songs have new meanings, it all was true. And now almost sixteen hours later and she was still mulling the idea over in her mind. Mentally masticating the taste of what it meant to be in love, and to be in love with Jesse. Then it got messy.

Being in love with Jesse was one thing but was he in love with her? Would he reciprocate her feelings?

Out of the pair she has pegged Jesse as the sentimental one, for Pete's sake he quoted the entire ending of the Breakfast Club, fist pump and all when they first met, and then got teary eyed when they were watching Dumbo, a project for his film studies he swore, and this was last week. Beca had and arsenal of proof that he was the sap in this relationship, he sighed when Leah and Han Solo finally admitted their feelings to each other, so the idea that he might not love started to plague her thoughts. They had been "together" for almost a year, and he had made no declaration of his love, not with words or gestures that she could think of, so that must mean that he did not share her feelings.

She felt a hand on her thigh, and it lulled her from her thoughts, "I'm sorry for reading over your shoulder." She hears his apology but the thought of Jesse not loving her was causing tears to brim in her eyes. "Beca what's up?"

"What's up?" The words tumble spitefully from her mouth. A vindictive bite holds in the air after the words escape her mouth. "That is all you have to say to me?"

Flummoxed would be the word that would appropriate describe Jesse's expression to her question.

The ballyhoo that accompanied Beca as she jumped from the ground and snatched her computer from the grass, yanked her jacket into place and stormed from the grassy quad in the direction of her house left Jesse stunned. He had been there barely five minute enjoying the gemütlichkeit of the afternoon sun on his skin and the effect Beca had on his senses, when she flew off the handle. He had barely time to process a thought fully before jumping from the ground, quickly gathering his belongings, along with Beca's sunglasses and headphones that she seemed to abandon as she obambulated from her study time. He called her name but she did not stop her long strides of escape.

"Beca!" He bellowed to her back, he needed to know what emotional land-mine he triggered to explode in his face, "Was it the strawberry kiwi flavor of your Capri Sun?" He called seeing her feet halter, and twist to pin him with a discomfit look. "Look I will stop bringing you juice packs if that is the problem." He said panting to a stop when reaching her person on the lonely sidewalk. He choked down another breath.

"You think I am mad because of the juice pack?" Beca snapped, the bite in her question made Jesse retract physically. It pushed him to a defensive stance.

"No-" Jesse tested the word slowly seeing if it would cause another emotional explosion, and he closed his eyes to possibly block any verbal assail. He was met with silence, and figured it was his queue to continue. "I don't know what made you mad, was it me reading over your shoulder?" He choked another breath before continuing, "Because in all fairness Becs, you have never told me to not read over your shoulder."

If she had something in her hands sans her computer she would have thrown them at Jesse.

"It wasn't that Jesse." Beca said turning away from the bewildered boy, she needed to hide her face as the tears were threatening to fall with each passing word. But he stopped her departure with a hand to her arm. He pulled her back to face him, this time he was in her personal space, and the hand that stopped her moved from her arm to cup her cheek.

"Beca, please, help me with what is going on because I don't know how to fix whatever I broke." Jesse says moving his face closer to her, and rested on her forehead. They shared the same breath.

"I'm in love with you."

Her declaration was met with mirthful laughter.

Literal head falling back, mouth open, loud cackle filled Beca's ears which only pushed Beca to propel away from Jesse and continue her storm back to her house. She made it only three feet before his hands were on her again, easing her back to his body to be used as a fulcrum for the pair. He brought his hands to each side of her face, bringing his fingers to capture the tear shedding from her eyes. Jesse moved down and captured her mouth with his, plying for a connection, and paused briefly to gauge her reaction. Her hands were on autopilot, as always when kissing Jesse, they moved from her side to his arms and then up to noose around his neck. His fingers left her face and carded into her hair.

He came to rest upon her forehead once more, detaching his lips from hers, letting his words ghost across her skin, "Finally."

If he hadn't been holding her, and her hands still linked behind his neck, he would have been fending off a blow to the stomach.

"Finally!" The decibel of the word reverberates against his ears. "I tell you I am in love with you and respond with finally!?" Beca's screeching was getting to a loudness that attracted a few onlookers from across the street. "I swear to the aca-gods-" he covered her mouth with his hand to silence yet another threat.

"Beca, calm down please," Jesse commanded looking into her soft blue eye still watered with tears, "I'm not going to move my hand until you promise to stop screaming, promise?" He was answered with the nodding of her head. He removed his hand but kept her close. "I said finally because I have been waiting for you to say it first." Her silence pushed him to continue his explanation, "I'm pretty sure you of all people know you have baggage when it comes to relationships, it's nothing new and well I didn't want to pressure you or frighten you with feelings you might not be ready to reciprocate." He let his hands fall from her body.

Holy F-Balls.

Beca let the weight of his statement sink into her conscience, this man-child had to be the most selfless creature she has ever met, and he was so afraid of her possible rejection he stifled his love, "For how long?" She whispered. She reached up and smoothed the wrinkles on his brow, tilting his head in the process so she look into Jesse's brown eyes.

He shrugged, "I don't have an exact moment, the feelings always been there-"

"Why haven't you said anything?" Beca demanded gripping his chin. She was frustrated to think she could have been causing such pain involuntarily to someone like Jesse. Crap she was an emotional mess and she had only been feeling this way for sixteen hours, he's been keeping this bottled for possibly months. He laughed at her question.

"Beca, I literally spelt it out to you at the mixer last fall." Jesse answered making Beca think back to the fall mixer, and to the song Jesse sang, L.O.V.E. by Nat King Cole, she remembered the way he put so much passion into the song, his eyes never leaving hers during the entire performance. She realized the passion was his heart pouring into the words of the song.

"Jesse," The apology was kissed from her lips. Another exchange of lips pressed for a minute before the lack of oxygen pressed for need, and this time Jesse began to speak. "You Beca Mitchell are the most maddening, remarkable, frustrating adorable person I know and I am in love with you too."

Beca returned his sentiments with the caress of her lips.

She had already said she loved him.

What cha think?

I don't own Pitch Perfect.


End file.
